“OUR SHOCKING FINDINGS ON WHY MEN RAPE…” – Mrs Titilayo Vivour-Adeniyi

Rape is a very widespread problem in Nigeria but there is a culture of silence surrounding it. The victims, almost always women, tend not to report instances of rape. They are afraid of being blamed to have ‘seemingly’ behaved in ways that invite rapists.

It is even more worrying now because of the misinformation of the public by herbalists that sex with young girls (mostly virgins), that have not attained puberty, cures certain sicknesses in addition to the wrongful belief in charms for riches and power, which also prescribe sex with a young girl.

One action that could help to stop rape is to encourage the rape victims/survivors to break the silence and report instances so that the perpetrators are brought to book, and society is sensitized on the negative effects of rape. 

On that and other sexual-related issues, Mrs. Titilola Vivour-Adeniyi, the Coordinator, Domestic and Sexual Violence Response Team (DSVRT), spoke exclusively with ‘Stamp Out GBV @stampoutgbv’ on sexual-related cases amid reiterating the Lagos State Government’s commitment to ensuring total eradication of sexual and gender based violence in the State, saying that the Governor Akinwunmi Ambode led administration has zero tolerance for perpetrators of such crimes.

Excerpts.

Mrs. Titilola Vivour-Adeniyi

On The Difference Between Sexual Violence, Sexual Assault And Sexual Harassment:

Mrs. Titilola: Sexual violence is a generic term used for sexual-related offences or sexual-related cases such as rape, sexual assault and sexual harassment.

Now, sexual assault is a form of rape. In our Laws, we have a distinction between sexual assault, rape, defilement, sexual assault by penetration.

‘Sexual assault by penetration’ is a modern version of rape, which basically means that, apart from the normal male organ into the female organ, we can now have the inserting of objects (like pencil, pen) or any parts of the body into the opening of the other person. Sexual assault by penetration can be done by both man and woman, and the receiver can be both man and woman.

Then, sexual assault is when somebody is touched sexually in any part of her body,such as the breast–anything that is done in a sexual intent can be defined as sexual assault.

Sexual harassment is basically when somebody in a higher form of authority requests for sexual favour from somebody that is below him/her and failure to accede to those sexual requests or the favours, there would be consequences.

This can be between an employer and employee, a teacher and a student, and even domestic staffs and their employers.

Instances of “If you do not do this, I will fail you” from a teacher to a student or “If you don’t succumb, you will not be promoted” from an employer to an employee – the essence is that the survivor is put in a situation where he/she feels coerced into performing a sexual-related activity.

And when that sexual harassment involves penetration, then, that becomes rape or sexual assault by penetration, together with sexual harassment.

On The Implications When A Father Defiles His Child:

Mrs. Titilola: If there is penetration, that is defilement but if it is touching, that is sexual assault. In our Laws, we even have indecent treatment of a child – Section 135 of the Criminal Rule: indecent treatment of a child draws seven years imprisonment, sexual assault is three years imprisonment while sexual assault by penetration is life imprisonment. Sexual harassment is three years imprisonment while Rape is life imprisonment.

On The Reason People Rape:

Mrs. Titilola: We were actually curious to know why people rape; so, we conducted a research on sex convicts in our prisons in Lagos, and 80.5% of the males said that they were abused as children before they turned 6 years old. So, they had been awakened to unhealthy sexual relationship and they had now started to abuse others because that is what they knew.

It looks like “vengeance” on their part but it is not. It is based on the abusal trend – it is what they are exposed to that they are doing.

That discovery really changed our mindsets; before now, we had been emphasising on girl-child, which is good but it is this boy-child that may grow up into male to abuse them. So, the same vigour and importance we place on the girl-child, we must place on the boy-child. The boys too need to learn this message – they need to begin to appreciate healthy relationship; you can communicate without raising your fist; you can ask for consent and get genuine consent without forcing it out. So, advocacy sensitization is so key for both. Even when we talk to parents, we discovered that they are teaching girls how to be wise by going to the market early enough so they can bargain based on financial responsibilities; they are taught to wash or clean and take care of the home or their siblings. The girl-child is being built and equipped for what is ahead – who is doing that for the boys? Who is talking to the boys? Who is training the boys? So, our advocacy must not be one-sided.

The way we talk to girls, we must talk to the boys because that abusal trend is now very disturbing.

Another piece of information we got was that 60% of the male said that they had experienced low performance sexually. Maybe female adults were laughing at them for their poor performance in bed and obviously, as children do not know what poor performance is in bed, they preyed on them.

Another issue is vulnerability. Children are the most vulnerable ones to abuse; they are prone to abuse. So, it is easier for them to abuse children.

Before now, there was this ‘culture of impunity’ but we are slowly breaking it. This impunity is when people are doing such things and getting away from them; the culture of impunity emboldens them to do more.

Another remarkable discovery we made was that none of the sex convicts said “it was because of what the woman wore” that triggered them off to rape her. You know there is normally that myth that rape is based on ‘how seductively a woman dresses’. We were curious to find out if somebody will say she “dressed provocatively and that is why I raped her” but none did.

So, it just goes to the fact that rape is not about sexual desire but it is a psychological issue. It is the issue of control and to dominate, and maybe the person is unstable upstairs i.e. he needs ways of expressing himself.

On The Punishment For Rape Or Sexual Abuse:

Mrs. Titilola: Rape is life imprisonment in Lagos State; Sexual Assault by penetration is Life imprisonment; sexual assault is three years imprisonment; sexual harassment is three years imprisonment; an attempt to commit rape or sexual assault by penetration is fourteen months (twenty-one days); and defilement is Life Imprisonment.

Mrs. Titilola Vivour-Adeniyi

On How/Where To Report Rape Or Sexual Abuse Cases:

Mrs. Titilola: You don’t just tell anybody. You tell people that you know can assist you; you tell people that are not judgemental; you tell people that are in a position to assist you, and not to spread the news that this person has been raped. You should tell the relevant Law Enforcement Agencies; you tell Government; there are enough support centres and services that you can reach out to.

In fact now, we have recently launched *6820# - you just send the message to *6820# and you put the keyword “rape” and you get an information as to what to do and where to go to for help.

On The Proper Way To Talk With Children About Rape Or Sexual Abuse:

Mrs. Titilola: This is why advocacy must be age-appropriate. We have primary school education and secondary school enlightenment – in primary schools, we call it STRAC (Safeguarding the Rights of a Child) and in secondary schools, we have SMART Teens Advocacy Initiative.

The way you communicate to a 3-year-old is different from the way you talk to a 12-year-old; even in terms of materials, we package them in a manner that appreciate and relate with body parts (good or bad touch, what should I do? What is child abuse etc), and we have pictorial images, which children can relate with. The books are packaged in a story-telling manner; so you break it down when you talk to them. We don’t just gather them and start talking; no!

When you hear ‘rape’, what comes to your mind? You will be amazed these children know these things; they really do know. Children are exposed these days, and they come out and say what rape is. They know how to distinctly define rape, domestic violence and child abuse. They have an idea of these things; so, what we need now do is to shape that discussion but the information ultimately is coming from them.

The secondary school is a bit easier because you can talk to them freely in a way they will understand.

On DSVRT and their commitment in the fight against sexual assault:

Mrs. Titilola: It is at the heart of what we do. The State Government inaugurated the DSVRT in September 2014 as a response to the increase in incidents of reporting rape, defilement, domestic violence, child abuse, neglect and maltreatment in the State. The DSVRT comprises top level representatives of the Nigeria Police, Directorate of Public Prosecutions, Office of the Public Defender, the Directorate of Citizens’ Rights, Office of Youth and Social Development, Ministries of Women Affairs & Poverty Alleviation, Health and Education, Civil Society Organizations, and the Media, who are all involved in the fight against sexual and gender based violence crimes.

Our mandate is to increase victims’ safety and offenders’ responsibilities by providing a cross jurisdictional response, which is uniform to what we handle (rape, domestic violence and child abuse). We don’t just want to respond, as per responding, we want to prevent and reduce the chances of it happening. That is why we cannot overemphasize awareness and sensitization – children need to be empowered with information. It is not as if we are teaching children how not to get raped but we are basically empowering children with that information because they need it. Parents and the public need to be empowered too.

On Governor Ambode’s passionate commitment to the fight against domestic and sexual violence:

Mrs. Titilola: I believe he is committed to women’s issue. Even during his campaigns, he said that women issue and child rights would be at the forefront of his administration. So, it is not a surprise; he is a merchant of hope. He is putting it out there that this is what he came in for in his platform. He is walking the talk. We saw him last year cement the work on domestic violence rape and child abuse. In funding, he is ensuring that our messages remain at the forefront – jingles, billboards, training, sensitization; all these things are capital intensive. So, it is at his heart and truly, should not come as a surprise because he said it; this is part of his campaign promises.

He has charged the DSVRT to go all out and increase victim safety and offender responsibility by providing a cross jurisdictional response that is uniform in approach in the way Sexual and Gender Based Violence cases are handled in the State.