Q. My Girlfriend Was Raped By My Friend... What Should I Do?
Q. My Girlfriend Was Raped By My Friend... What Should I Do?
I have a roommate who knew my babe and the fact that we have been dating for over four years. There's this day she came visiting but didn't meet me but my guy, knowing I wouldn’t return that day, asked her to keep him company and then, gave her a spiced-drink. She was tipsy and weakly fought him off before he raped her twice – she just told me this after it happened over a year ago.
I have a roommate who knew my babe and the fact that we have been dating for over four years. There's this day she came visiting but didn't meet me but my guy, knowing I wouldn’t return that day, asked her to keep him company and then, gave her a spiced-drink. She was tipsy and weakly fought him off before he raped her twice – she just told me this after it happened over a year ago.
Please, what should I do because I'm mad as if it just happened? And to imagine she's been hiding this secret over a year while I have been the one feeding and housing the b*****d! I could have beaten him to pulp but I know that is not good enough for him. How do I keep him from doing this to anyone else?
Damola, UNILAG.
@stampoutgbv: We are so sorry this happened. Many survivors keep what happened to them a secret for years and sometimes for life. One of our team-member mom’s friend was raped when she was 17 – she is now 58 – and only told our team-member's mom a few months but she has never told her husband and probably, never will.
You can imagine how your girlfriend would have held it for long with the hurt in her heart while finding ways to open up to you if you would understand her or kick her out of your life.
Most guys do the latter when their babes or wives are raped! We are not medical doctors but we strongly urge you and your babe to get counselling because this is a very difficult thing to deal with and the impact never seems to go away.
Try and be there for your babe – listen to her and you will probably need to listen over and over again.
Sometimes after, it comes back - it can create flash backs and nightmares. Tell her you love her. Remind her she is safe and you will never hurt her like that. Be supportive but also find help for yourself and your babe.
And you're right - this guy is not worth you getting in trouble over.
As for him still being a predator and you wanting to tell, we can't give a "yes" or "no" answer but get all the info you can before you make any decision.
You can imagine how your girlfriend would have held it for long with the hurt in her heart while finding ways to open up to you if you would understand her or kick her out of your life.
Most guys do the latter when their babes or wives are raped! We are not medical doctors but we strongly urge you and your babe to get counselling because this is a very difficult thing to deal with and the impact never seems to go away.
Try and be there for your babe – listen to her and you will probably need to listen over and over again.
Sometimes after, it comes back - it can create flash backs and nightmares. Tell her you love her. Remind her she is safe and you will never hurt her like that. Be supportive but also find help for yourself and your babe.
And you're right - this guy is not worth you getting in trouble over.
As for him still being a predator and you wanting to tell, we can't give a "yes" or "no" answer but get all the info you can before you make any decision.
This is very heart breaking. He should be reported to authorities like DSVRT.
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